Thursday, September 01, 2005

Fabulous notes

(Because they're about fables, not because they're in any way spectacular.)

Two months ago, I stole this link from someone (thanks and apologies, whoever you are) and squirreled it away until such time as I might have related material and clever commentary to share.

However, I need to purge some brainspace — finish or destroy all drafted thoughts — and I've decided to store up all my cleverness for winter. So with no further ado, I present to you Aesop's Fables, as rendered in the Uncyclopedia (which is full of misinformation and utter lies).

The Lion and the Mouse
Once a lion was awakened from his sleep by a mouse. The lion raised his paw to crush the mouse, but the mouse begged for mercy. 'If you let me live,' he said, 'I will one day repay your kindness.' The lion scoffed at the idea that a humble mouse could ever help a mighty lion, but nonetheless he let the mouse go. The mouse promptly sued the lion for an estimated five hundred thousand dollars, citing assault and mental anguish. The lion took to the bottle, and died a penniless wino.
Moral: No good deed ever goes unpunished.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Story unavailable at present time due to impending court case concerning blatant copyright infringment.
Moral: Cheaters never prosper


Although I'm withholding clever commentary, I do have related material to offer:

I recently read Squids Will Be Squids: Fresh Morals for Beastly Fables, by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith, who assert "If you can't say something nice about someone, change the guy's name to Donkey or Squid." It's recommended for ages 4 to 8 (or for the 4- to 8-year-old within us all).

It made me smile, but I'm not sure kids would find it funny. But hey, I know nothing about kids, and apparently a lot of them like stories about farting dogs. These fables present practical concerns regarding socially appropriate behaviours and good advice, like always call home.
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