"No, it's true. And I will tell you something really extraordinary, mes enfants. Do you know that you can take the stones of these luscious fruits, put them in water — just plain water, mind you — anywhere, any place in the world, and in three months up comes a sturdy little plant full of green leaves? That is their sturdy little souls bursting into bloom," he finished off, well satisfied with his analogy.
"Well, this one isn't going to burst into bloom, " I said morosely, putting my nose in my drink. "What you've got here is a dead one."
"A what? A dud one?"
I took my face out of the glass. "No, dead. Dead. Oh, forget it."
Max raised his glass and smiled at me. "The dud avocado," he said, proposing the toast.
— from The Dud Avocado, by Elaine Dundy.
I raise my glass.