Pitch my life?
You gotta be kidding.
High school? Anything interesting there? Maybe a little Square Pegs meets Head of the Class, only no teacher is remotely like Howard Hesseman. Though there was that one with all the Rodney Dangerfield impressions (math), and the other one with the David Letterman schtick (math)... And all the classmates, the bit characters, are in fact much more interesting than our lead, only we never really get to know them.
No one would buy that.
The monkey was... what, a week ago? Why am I even bothering? I feel like I'm in school again and I missed the assignment, and it's so late there's no point in even trying to make it up... Point deductions per day late would fail me even if I had a stroke of brilliance.
Maybe some of the travels.
Only you have to do it from the perspective of inside my head, kind of Being John Malkovitch only you're being Isabella. We could do a kind of Sheltering Sky / Lisbon Story hybrid, but with a Bridget Jones sensibility (or lack thereof). A Nick Cave soundtrack. We'll cast Andie MacDowell — she could probably use the work. Can we get Kieslowski for this? Damn, he's dead. Well, maybe Polanski can pull this off.
Pitch my life. Like we're trying to sell it. It doesn't have to be true much, right?