But something is lost here. While filmed sex seemingly opens up a world of sexual possibility, all too often it shuts down the sexual imagination, making it weak, dependent, lazy, codified. The sexual imagination is transformed into a mimesis-machine, incapable of generating its own novelty. In Intercourse (1987) Andrea Dworkin warned of just this:
Imagination is not a synonym for sexual fantasy, which in only — pathetically — a programmed tape loop repeating repeating in the narcoleptic mind. Imagination finds new meanings, new forms; complex and empathetic values and acts. The person with imagination is pushed forward by it into a world of possibility and risk, a distinct world of meaning and choice; not into a nearly bare junkyard of symbols manipulated to evoke rote responses.
If sex education sought to endow young people not just with better "rote responses" but with an emboldened sexual imagination — the capacity to bring forth "new meanings, new forms" — it would have to be, I think, a kind of negative education. It wouldn't assert its authority to tell the truth about sex, but rather remind young people that the authority on what sex is, and could become, lies with them. Sex can, if they choose, remain as generations before them have choses: violent, selfish and unequal. Or sex can — if they choose — be something more joyful, more equal, freer.
— from "Talking to My Students about Porn," in The Right to Sex, by Amia Srinivasan.
(What would it be like to discover sex with a wholly open mind, with child-like innocence, without media influence? Instead, we live in a world where porn is now if not ubiquitous then very readily acquired. Granted, my generation sneaked peeks at girly magazines stashed in their dads' garages and videos pilfered from adult-only backrooms. Sometimes I think I would've benefited from an education of this sort, beyond the romance and passion modeled for me by mainstream film and television. But it's all so performative, so results-oriented; and even when it's different, it's same same.)
The essays in The Right to Sex cover #MeToo, incels, porn, sex positivity, race, TERFs, sex work, carceralism. Clearly, sex is political. Mostly accessibly written, veering slightly into the overly academic, many of the issues described here are at the heart of today's feminist thinking. Endless questions raised, no clear answers offered.
Desire can take us by surprise, leading us somewhere we hadn't imagined we would ever go, or towards someone we never thought we would lust after, or love. In the very best cases, the cases that perhaps ground our best hope, desire can cut against what politics has chosen for us, and choose for itself.
Essays
Does anyone have the right to sex?"
Who lost the sex wars?
Reviews
Is a new book feminism’s next new wave or yesterday’s backlash?
Who Gets to Be Desirable?
Questioning Desire
13 comments:
"The concept of 'rote responses' in sex education is so striking. How can we encourage schools to foster sexual imagination instead of just reinforcing societal norms?"
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"I love the idea of sex being 'joyful, more equal, freer.' But how do we overcome the deep-rooted cultural influences that make this so hard to achieve?"
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"Andrea Dworkin’s distinction between imagination and fantasy is profound. How often do we confuse the two and limit ourselves in the process?"
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"Discovering sex with a 'wholly open mind' feels like such a lost possibility in today’s world. Is it even realistic given how early exposure to media starts?"
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"The idea that desire can resist political structures is so hopeful. It suggests that despite everything, human connection can transcend societal constraints."
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"Porn's ubiquity definitely complicates sexual discovery. How can we guide young people to develop healthier, more imaginative perspectives amidst its influence?"
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"The essays’ inclusion of race and carceralism reminds us how intersectional these issues are. Sex is never just personal; it’s deeply political."
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"I appreciate the essay’s refusal to provide clear answers. It feels honest, given how complex and nuanced these questions are."
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"Is it possible to separate sex from performance entirely, or is performativity too deeply ingrained in how we think about intimacy?"
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"The notion that sex education could involve risk and possibility, rather than rules, is so refreshing. Why aren’t we already doing this?"
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"It’s fascinating to think about how mainstream media subtly programs our expectations of romance and passion. How do we unlearn this conditioning?"
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"If desire can surprise us and defy politics, does that mean there’s hope for true sexual liberation beyond societal constructs?"
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"The dichotomy between 'violent, selfish sex' and 'joyful, free sex' is powerful. But what practical steps can individuals take to move toward the latter?"
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